Theology and doctrine of marriage is a wonderful gift of comfort during our time separated from God. It can be best seen in the relationship of the Trinity. In its contrary is the more familiar contractual marriage. As an individual who intends on having a godly, covenantal relationship, we start with our own justifications. If we enter into a bond and we have not been convicted, then it is likely that one will carry the other and be unequally yoked. “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…” (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV Holy Bible) When we are in the process of our individual sanctification, the indwelling and covenant with Christ is in place. If there is evident of spiritual maturity in both parties, then modest courtship can occur. Spiritual maturity would mean, both individuals are both actively seeking God, which will be evident in the fruits of their individual lives. Modest courtship is something at would go against the grain of our society, but is absolutely necessary in adhering to a godly covenantal relationship. “Every purpose is established by counsel…” (Proverbs 20:18, KJV Holy Bible) I still believe in the old Jewish tradition of a lad requesting permission for courtship. This puts the responsibility of the parent who would be relinquishing care to the would be husbands care. This would take the need of a godly parent. Once approval is given, then a platonic courtship can take place. “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh?” (Matthew 19:5, KJV Holy Bible) Courtship gives both parties time to understand some of what each other finds valuable in life. Essential Christ will always be the utmost in both parties. And eventually the two can become one.
This is in complete opposition with what we are familiar with which is contractual relationships. Like a car, you test drive be before you buy. If it doesn’t work, you trade it in for a new one. That title of ownership goes to someone else. In a covenantal relationship, we follow the model Christ set before us with the relationship between Himself and the church. “For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church…, the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and give himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:23-25, KJV Holy Bible) Jesus came served, ministered and sacrificed. And so should husbands. This is not to say there isn’t a headship that needs to be recognized. It should be known that this headship is not a totalitarian dictatorship, which can often be the case in a contractual marriage. This is where two, serve one another, made as equals, with the husband as the head, both seeking Christ as one. A godly unity that Christ prayed for in Gethsemane (John 17), that the Holy Father pre-ordained, without question is holy, righteous and just. And the two as one can fulfill the covenant of marriage and if viable bear children for the kingdom of heaven and teach the same catechized values.